There is a school of thought that survival is the most powerful motivation to live
Vitality and health and youthfulness are rooted in this desire to survive
Somewhere deeply rooted into our minds as humans is the drive to live
But I wonder how this can be true
If there are so many of us that self destruct
So many of us choose to die
By suicide, by vice, by giving up the fight.
I don’t think we love for mere survival
The idea of humans being so selfish that a simple innate action as loving someone for survival
Is asinine to me
Merely surviving in this life is not appealing to me
Living is so much more than just surviving.
I need to feel freedom and liberation from all my demons.
I need to be able to allow my soul to feel all the shapes music creates in the air.
I need to be able to hold and breath in my children.
I need my lover to not flinch when they see me as I am.
I need the validation that my voice is heard by somebody, anybody
So I can feel like I’m real
So I can loosen the grip of disillusion that this life might not be real
So I can know my perception of my surrounding is not merely a concoction of my imagination
That this brain of mine has not been plagued completely with insanity
That I’m now living in reality that blinds me from the truth of where I really am.
If living is chalked up to be just simply surviving
Then I’d rather not live
My motivation to live is rooted in something even stronger than survival.
I choose to live because experiencing love is worth my heart to continue beating.
Without it, it is not a worthy endeavour for me to survive such an empty life.