Overdose

I was doing so well
And I have no idea why
The crave to die
Just keeps arising
Everything is fine
More than fine actually
But inside me
There is something inherently wrong
I don’t know what’s wrong with me
I have plenty to die for
And even more to live for
So why am I feeling this despair
Pressing intensely down my chest
While I lay here in the dark
Staring at my ceiling
Waiting for the sound
Of my sternum to crack
Plenty to die for
Even more to live for
Why is this such a struggle
Im so disappointed
That I have yet to outgrown
When can this random burst of suffering
Just leave me alone
Why can’t I be okay
When there is nothing at all wrong
Plenty to die for
Even more to live for
That should be enough
Should be the mantra I breathe in
I breathe out
Plenty to die for
Even more to live for

©AyalaRain