Fading

I experienced something genuine recently
Something where cringing is how I react normally
Because I don’t find myself as a person who is beautiful really.

My heart feels full and it’s swelling
Because the gesture of affection is so purely
Causing a dramatically healing shift within me.

I can’t say I see what they see in me
And their happiness being with or without me
Will always be my priority.

But knowing for a moment, in this moment
I do have someone who loves me dearly.
And somehow they recognize the good in me.

Somehow, even while I dwell feeling undesirable and disgusting,
Those self destructive feelings have been fading steadily
Because I now have someone who smiles whenever they see me.

©AyalaRain