Maybe I should have listened to the noise
And let him be
Instead of being so selfish
And never letting him free
Of me
I just had thought
All this time
That he appreciated my loyalty
Choosing not to leave
He means more than the world
Can offer me
And I just thought with me
He’d be set free
From his own limitations and doubts
That subtly
Eats away at his mind sometimes
Silently
I see him when he’s in pain and
When he’s happy
And I thought just maybe
He was happy because of me
But now doubt has crept in
Stifling me
And no matter how pure my intentions
He’s suffering because of me
So I’m told and even if
I don’t want to believe
What kind of friend am I
If I stay so selfishly
When he could be in the state
That he’s in all because of me
I’d rather rip my own heart out
And drown alone in my sorrow
To set him finally free
Of me
For him to again
Be happy.
– January 22, 2018
©AyalaRain