Coastal Winter Forest

Leaves crunching underneath the soles of my boots
Bramble grazing and snagging at my dress
You hold my hand and lead me through your forest
A place where only you and I exist.

This is the place I learned the difference
Of the varying weights held within love and trust
Although one isnt reliant on the other
Without trust, love can never be enough.

I know there is no safety guaranteed
To entrust someone with all my love
But the risk I take extending myself to you
Is worthy of the grief and heartbreak that comes.

The day both you and I have faded and turned back into dust
There will be a moment we find each other again
This is worthy of the grief and heartbreak that now hums in my chest
Because one day in the sky above I will see you again.

©AyalaRain

Lamentation

There was a future I envisioned
For as long as I can remember
And I suppose I foolishly held on
I held onto this mustard size seed of hope
Subconsciously all this time
My gosh how beautiful would they have been
How my heart would have swelled
Overwhelmingly that my dream from many moons
Finally has come true
My objective vision of happiness arriving into fruition
There isn’t grief in this vision
There is happiness in the feeling of belonging
My hand intertwined with my love’s
A mutality of contentment and fulfillment
Finding joy in the mundane day to day
Because we are spending it all together
The accumulation of moments into a lifetime together
I alone held onto such a vision
And as I grieve this possibility of being unable to become my reality
I will keep writing so they never disappear from me
So the onesided love in my heart can be preserved
So that maybe this old dream can live on elsewhere
Developing along the pages of worlds I can visit once in a while

Ⓒ AyalaRain

Lost – Part 2

No matter how much I scrub myself in the tub
The hours I take soaking my entire body
The number of showers I take on the daily
I can’t rid myself the filth stuck and branded on me
It’s embeded in my skin and in my spirit
It’s infected my mind to becoming chronically diseased
It’s made it impossible for me to ever deserve
Anyone good and willing to utterly and completely love me entirely.

©AyalaRain

Grief

Grief is a funny thing.
It makes the cool tile of the bathroom floor
A welcoming home to pour your soul all over.
It makes the darkness ebb and flow
Like the warmth of a bath on a cold sunny day.
It becomes the one friend left to hold you tight
Clenching the pulsing in your veins.
Reminding you through the flash backs
Of all the reasons you feel pain.
It all becomes so vivid and the sensations rush back
The knowledge of knowing that for you they won’t ever come back.
Everything runs a delicate and fine course
When Grief comes along exposing your worth.

©AyalaRain