Borrowed Happiness

I think what is making my heart ache
Is that I recognized the borrowed happiness
I assumed was mine to possess
But I’m just a place holder
Until the real thing comes along
For everyone
I’m just someone that keeps the spot warm
To pass the time waiting
For the real deal.
I’ve always wanted to be the real deal
But I’m temporary
And I think I lost my way
Believing the happiness I felt was meant for me
For even just the season
Just a moment
Maybe it was meant for me
And I’m taking it hard the season is over now
The brief euphoric relief I recieved
Wasn’t meant to be for a forever
I’m glad for the taste of what things would have been
If I weren’t stuck being me

©AyalaRain

I hope this happiness within me never fades…

I hope this happiness within me never fades
I hope I can forever hold onto your smile
I just want to spend each and every day
Knowing it’s a moment closer to a life
That can be shared tomorrow

I just want to be home with you for good
Encompassed every night in your arms
Wake up every day to your morning kiss
Be the one you never have to hide from
Be there for you in good times and hard

Be able to hear you sing my troubles away
With a voice that warms me like tea and honey
Despite the sadness and the pain
Despite the battered sense of self
That questions if I’m worthy

I hope you allow me to remain wrapped in your love
Because I promise you I can never stray
Regardless if you choose to keep me or leave
You are the only one I want
You are the only one who inspires my soul to sing
So I’ll take my chances to stay and wait
And pray you might come back home to me
I can only pray I too can make you happy
I will keep praying one day I can be worthy enough to where you’ll want to stay.

©AyalaRain