The F Word

I’d like to simply screw away my negativity
Just ride someone til I collapse and can’t anymore
Until the pain is replaced with pleasure
Pleasure, such a foreign idea after being without for so long
Why does pleasure derive from feeling loved
Feeling wanted and craved
Why does that validation give me the high I need
To no longer want to die
The satisfaction of making him cum
Makes me feel powerful and decadent
I feel devine
Such a sexually satisfying moment
Is simply just an awakening to another form of spirituality
None but one enjoys to kiss me deeply
Like that kind of action is more intimidating and intimate
Than penetrating my body
I cherish being kissed passionately
And being ravaged with a spirit of the same frequency
Such an occurance is so rare
I will never get to have that experience again
Maybe I need to settle into my age and the reality of life
Accept the things I want weren’t meant for me
Allow things to be as they should be
And maybe on occassion God will bless me
With a dream or memory of one of His temples being worshiped
So thoroughly and vigorously

©AyalaRain