A Girl Worth Fighting For

Most girls desire to be wanted and admired
I think most anyone desires this
To be worthy enough to be fought for
To be worthy enough for another to place energy into
To simply be worthy
Our society has shaped us to only accept our worth through the eyes of others
That finding your worth on your own and through your own perception is taboo
Borderline wrong because it’s cocky
I don’t think this.
I think most people want to be fought for
By someone willing to make the sacrifices needed to be with them
The sad truth is most don’t fight for those they want
They are so lazy and selfish to only want to be desired and admired
But choose to not do the same for others
I’m a girl who fought for love
I fight for those I care for
For those I hold with insanely deep regard
Also gaining wounds from battling rejections
But for most whom I fight for
They are worth it at the time
The thing is I have come to realize that I’m a fighter but my lovers are not
I have always thought I was worth someone fighting for me
But as I get older and grow less naive
I know this is all fallacy
My wounds are too great from the hurt they implemented on my spirit
Breaking it down for years
And then receiving a message from a come to Jesus meeting
And now all of sudden turn away from selfishness
At least that’s what they say when they feel they have lost me
I have matured enough now to know I’m no girl worth fighting for
My youth had been spent daydreaming and yearning for this ideal
But I was the one born the fighter
It is my own fault for allowing myself to get attached
And for falling for lovers who are not fighters like myself
Oh how I do wish the object of my affections
Would desire me just as much to fight for me
To find me and to keep me
To have and to hold
Instead I’m just utterly alone in the still silent nights
Only darkness is my present companion
I say my prayers at night
Close my eyes
And hug myself tight as I sleep through the night
Romance is for the birds
I enjoy witnessing others being happy
I suppose I have sinned too much too young
To deserve having my ideals
They are all just illusions anyway
Better to have truth to the reality
Than to be disillusioned
That I am a girl worth fighting for.

 

©AyalaRain